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Avoiding Volunteer Burnout (youth pastor life skills series pt.4)


Volunteer burnout is real and can be prevented by you as the ministry leader.  Volunteer burnout can be thought of as a psychological process – a series of attitudinal and emotional reactions – that a volunteer goes through as a result of ministry related and personal experiences. Often the first sign of burnout is a feeling of being emotionally exhausted from one’s work. When asked to describe how she or he feels, such an volunteer might mention feeling drained or used up, at the end of the rope, and physically fatigued. Waking up in the morning may be accompanied by a feeling of dread at the thought of having to put in another day in the ministry. For someone who was once enthusiastic about a working with kids (especially at-risk kids) and idealistic about what could be accomplished, feelings of emotional exhaustion may come somewhat unexpectedly, but the ministry leader or co-laborers may see the person’s emotional exhaustion as a natural response to working too hard. In turn, their natural response is to tell the victim to “Take it easy,” or to say “You need a vacation.”

Instead of doing either of these things (neither of which would provide permanent relief anyway), the victim does what many volunteers in similar situations have done – she or he copes by depersonalizing relationships with the leaders and peer volunteers. She or he develops a detached air, becomes cynical of relationships with others, and feels callous toward others and the ministry.  Volunteer leaders who become burnout victims are especially harmful to the ministry because such leaders create a ripple effect, spreading burnout to those they lead and influence. Unfortunately for the friends and family of an person who has reached this stage, the cynical and uncaring attitudes that develop toward peers, ministry leaders, or volunteers the lead may also be directed at non-ministry contacts, having a negative effect on all of the person’s social interactions.

In addition to emotional exhaustion and depersonalization, a third and final aspect of burnout is a feeling of low personal accomplishment. Many individuals begin serving in ministry with expectations that they will be able to make a great impact on the lives of the youth in their community and their the church as a whole. After a year or two on the job, they begin to realize they are not living up to these expectations. Many systemic reasons may contribute to the gap that exists between a new volunteer’s goals and the veteran’s accomplishments, including (1) unrealistically high expectations because of a lack of exposure to quality volunteer training, (2) constraints placed on the volunteer by organizational policies and procedures, (3) inadequate resources to perform one’s job, (4) co-workers who are frequently uncooperative and occasionally rebellious, and (5) a lack of feedback about one’s successes.

These and other characteristics almost guarantee that volunteers will be frustrated in their attempts to reach their goals of impacting this new generation, yet these people may not recognize the ministry and its leaders role in causing their frustration. Instead they may feel personally responsible and think of themselves as failures. When combined with emotional exhaustion, feelings of low personal accomplishment may reduce motivation to a point where performance is in fact impaired and that, in turn, leads to further failure.

We must do a better job of caring for and encouraging our volunteers.  We need to begin to provide soul care for our volunteers.  We have got to stop treating them as if they are nothing more than a means to an end for our mission.  There are also many great training opportunities/resources for volunteers to develop the skills and tools necessary to impact this generation but as leaders we must provide them.  If we don’t then we are the ones responsible for their eventual burnout.

2

When A Student “Falls In Love” With The Youth Worker


Because of the difficulties students have in early and mid-adolescence to manage strong feelings of intimacy, the new experience of having someone who listens and whom they can trust sometimes lead them to believe that they are in love with their youth worker.  Sadly, many at-risk students are so accustomed to negative feelings (shame, fear, guilt, anger) that positive feelings (joy, trust, contentment, playfulness) are unfamiliar to them.  Such students may not understand their own feelings, and they may not have the skills to differentiate them.  In some cases, if a student has been abused (physically or sexually) and/or is abusing drugs or alcohol, romantic obsession or sexual fantasies can be a substitute for reducing anxiety or stress.  Powerful romantic feelings may be directed toward the youth worker, threatening the health of the relationship.

The youth worker may first become aware a student is having strong feelings by subtle changes in their demeanor or by more obvious signs, such as requests to the worker in non-ministry related settings.  The youth worker must, above all, avoid transgressing the boundaries of the relationship and continue to emphasize the context of the relationship of one spiritual in nature.  He/She should not consent to personal requests , even if they seem innocent.  Second, even if he/she only suspects a student of harboring sexual feelings for him/her, he/she should immediately bring the matter to the attention of a colleague or other staff person.  This consultation will serve not only to protect himself/herself, should legal complications arise later, but can also help him/her work through the difficulty in the relationship itself.

If the youth worker senses that a student is developing romantic feelings for him/her, he/she can try to discuss the matter openly by asking questions, such as “I sense that you are feeling very strongly about something today.  Is there something in particular you want to talk about?”  If the student eventually discloses romantic or sexual feelings, the youth worker must maintain a spiritual focus and uphold the boundaries of the student-youth worker relationship.  Students should be encouraged to examine the feelings rather than act on them.  The tension of this interaction can lead to a “teachable moment” in which the student learns to better differentiate his/her feelings.  The youth worker should remind the student repeatedly of the purpose of their meetings, emphasizing what the youth worker and the student will and will not do as part of their relationship.  Students often use attraction to the youth worker to avoid dealing with unresolved feelings or emptiness.

Another, less confrontational way to deal with this type of situation is to maintain the boundaries of the student-youth worker relationship but to use the clients’ feelings to help them discover solid but non-sexual relationships with peers who will listen.  The student can be assisted to differentiate feeling good from feeling sexual desire.  The youth worker can explain that the “attractive” aspects of their relationship, such as trust and feeling safe, are qualities that students will want to look for in their personal relationships.

Similar problems of inappropriate attachments and boundary issues can occur in small group settings as well, and youth workers (whether group leaders or one-on-one mentoring) must be prepared to work with the students on this dynamic.  Here, too, defining roles and expectations from the outset that address interactions between group members and between group leader and members.  Students should avoid letting any of these relationships become too personal and should be made to understand why, in this setting, developing sexual relationships would be detrimental to the group as a whole.  Youth workers, in turn, must understand and support the bonding that occurs when students share their innermost thoughts in a safe and sympathetic environment – and the confusion group members may have about their feelings of dependence on or the responsibility for other group members.

Students most at risk for these behaviors have likely been abuse, neglected, rejected, marginalized, and abuse substance.  The lack of rational insight and poor emotional management, coupled with supportive and safe listening, opportunity for full-disclosure of problems make the student-youth worker a fertile ground for unhealthy and even dangerous interactions to occur.  Our youth ministry and many other youth ministries have safety plans and policies to address these and other issues.  If yours doesn’t have one in place feel free to contact us at cschaffner@fringeconversations.com for sample policies to put in place to protect you and your ministry efforts.

2

The Anatomy Of Honesty


We encourage students to explore the role of honesty and confession as a discipline in the Way of Jesus.  Issues relevant to this topic include: What is the cost of dishonesty?  When is it safe to confess?  What if the other person doesn’t accept honesty?

“I haven’t told my parents that I use pot.  I don’t want them to be mad at me.”

“My abuse can’t be as bad as I’ve made it out to be; I must be making things up.”

“If I tell my family about the abuse, I’ll be the black sheep.”

“I don’t want to date that person, but I can’t say ‘no’.”

Honesty, with God, oneself and others, is a central principle of the Way of Jesus.  Secrecy, lies, and avoidance are hallmarks of sin as well as abuse.  In cases of abuse, young people may have been punished or ignored if they spoke out regarding their abuse, and thus learned to suppress their truths.  When the consequence of telling the truth is greater than that of telling lies it makes sense that one would choose the latter of the two.

Students are therefore encouraged to recognize the cost of dishonesty: It alienates them from others and perpetuates the idea that something about them is unacceptable and must be hidden. (Think Adam and Eve)  In contrast honesty is liberating. 

The term “honesty” conveys an ideal that goes beyond just expressing one’s views.  It is meant to convey integrity, the notion of “owning” one’s experiences, and a spiritual sense of acceptance. 

Honesty is a complicated subject, however, as real risks are on the line for the abused student.  Honesty needs to be selective.  It may not be safe, for example, for a young person to confront their abuser. 

One particularly difficult situation is when a student asks the youth worker to hide information from parents or other adults, such as substance abuse.  In such scenarios, it is strongly recommended that the youth worker not keep secrets that would further place the student at risk of hurting themselves or others.  It usually helps to suggest to the student to try talking honestly with the parents, setting a date by which it would happen (such as a few days).  After the specified date, the youth worker then talks with the parents directly to confirm that the information has been shared.  Although there may be a risk of the student dropping out of our program, the greater risk is keeping substance abuse secrets on behalf of the student.  Not only would this reinforce lying about substance abuse, but it puts the youth worker in the position of being an “enabler” and may at times put other people in jeopardy (i.e., driving while under the influence). 

In encouraging students to be honest, a key issue is helping them cope with others’ negative reactions.  It helps to view honesty as a positive goal in and of itself, regardless of how the other person feels.  This is the Way of Jesus.  He routinely spoke truth for the sake of truth and not because He was concerned with how the others would react to it.  There will be growth either way: If the person has a positive reaction, the relationship has increased in closeness; if the person has a negative reaction, the student has learned more about the other person and can proceed accordingly.  Unfortunately, young people too often take a negative reaction to truth not as information about the other person, but as condemnation of themselves.  Preparing for negative reactions is then very important because when we can see that often dishonesty is nothing more than a functional protective skill, developed to keep someone safe from threats, we can move from a place of compassion into the messiness of their world.

Because it can be so difficult for students to be honest, respecting their defenses and locating areas where they are able to make some disclosure is more helpful than trying to convince them reveal when they resist.  Thus, if a student cannot be honest in a particular situation we should use this defensive posture as a thermostat for our relationship with that student.  Resistance can sometimes, often time, be a gift.  It lets us know there is still work to be done to develop a trusting relationship with a hurt and scared student. 

If we are fortunate enough to gain their trust, we dare not do anything to lose it.  It is a sacred thing when a person allows you entrance into their innermost hurt.  We must tread carefully.  Take off your shoes because you are walking on holy ground.  It is here that we have the opportunity to witness the miracle of Jesus making someone whole again.

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The Importance Of Harmonious Peer Relationship


Just how important is it for human beings to establish and maintain harmonious relationships with their peers?  Apparently it is very important.  One recent review of more than 30 studies revealed that youngsters who had been rejected by their peers during grade school are much more likely that those who had enjoyed good peer relations to drop out of school, to become involved in delinquent or criminal activities, and to display serious psychological difficulties later in adolescence and young adulthood. (Parker & Asher, 1987; see also Kupersmidt & Coie, 1990)  So merely having contact with peer associates is not enough to ensure normal developmental outcomes; getting along with peers in important too.

How can we measure children’s peer acceptance and identify those youth who are at risk of experiencing adverse outcomes later in life?  Researchers generally rely on sociometric techniques. In a sociometric survey each child in a peer group might be asked to name several peers whom she likes and several whom she dislikes; or, alternatively, each child might be asked to rate all peer-group members in terms of their desirability as companions.  By analyzing the choices that kids make, it is usually possible to classify each group member into one of the following categories: (1) popular children (those liked by most peers and rejected by few), (2) amiables, or “accepteds” (those who are chosen less frequently than “populars” but who receive a clear preponderance of positive nominations), (3) neglectees (children who are rarely nominated as liked or disliked and who seem almost invisible to peers), and (4) rejectees (those who are disliked by many peers and accepted by few).*  And it seems that rejected children fall in roughly equal numbers into two distinct subcategories: those who are highly and inappropriately aggressive (aggressive rejectees) and others who are anxious, low in self-esteem, and inclined to withdraw from peer contacts (nonaggressive rejectees) (Boivin & Begin, 1989, French, 1988).

Notice that both neglectees and rejectees are low in peer acceptance.  Yet it is not nearly as bad to be ignored by one’s peers as to be rejected by them.  Neglectees do not feel as lonely as rejectees do (Asher & Wheeler, 1985), and they are much more likely than rejected children to eventually become accepted or even popular should they enter a new class or new peer group (Coie & Dodge, 1983).  In addition, it is the rejected child, particularly the aggressive rejectee, who faces the greater risk of displaying deviant, antisocial behavior or other serious adjustment problems later in life (Asher & Coie, 1990; Kupersmidt & Coie, 1990; Roff, 1974).

All of this underlies the importance of community.  Not psuedo-community but genuine community.  See, Jesus came to bring reconciliation.  He came to bring it to those who have been rejected and neglected.  His chief aim was to reconcile them first to Himself and then to community with others.  This is why we, as God’s people, must actively seek out relationships with those marginalized.  It is because of God’s original design for community that this is how He choses to be known, through relationships.

We have the task of redefining what is “acceptable” or the “norm” and what is “valuable” when it comes to relational capital.  Those factors, such as; attractiveness, economic status, and position do not determine placement in God’s relational economy.  We must fight against adopting the worlds class system and embrace those who have been cast off as not having value because it is what God did with us.  Our families and ministries should reflect God’s heart for all of mankind.  If it doesn’t then we’ve missed the mark.

1

The Trinity Of Depression


Beck (1963, 1964) noted the way depressed patients interpreted their current life experiences.  The depressed person tended to distort their experiences; they misinterpreted specific, irrelevant events in terms of personal failure, deprivation, or rejection; they tended to greatly exaggerate or overgeneralize any event that bore any semblance of negative information about themselves; they also tended to obsess over making indiscriminate, negative predictions of the future.  It is important to note that the depressed person’s cognitions reflect a systematic bias against oneself.  Because of this overemphasis of negative data to the relative exclusion of positive data, the label “cognitive distortion” is most appropriate when describing the thinking of depressed persons.

When an individual suffers from cognitive distortions they develop other idiosyncratic negative thematic content not observed in those of nondepressed persons.  This is referred to as the Triad of Depression.

A negative view of self.  The depressed individual shows a marked tendency to view himself/herself as deficient, inadequate, unworthy, and to attribute their unpleasant experiences to a physical, mental, or moral defect in himself/herself.  Furthermore, they regard themselves as undesirable and worthless because of their presumed defects and tends to reject himself/herself (and to believe others will reject him/her) because of it.

A negative view of the world. His/Her interactions with the environment are interpreted as representing defeat, deprivation, or disparagement.  He/She views the world as making exorbitant demands on him/her and presenting obstacles which interfere with the achievement of his/her life goals.

A negative view of the future. The future is seen from a negative perspective and revolves around a series of negative expectations.  The depressed person anticipates that his/her current problems and experiences will continue indefinitely and that he/she will increasingly burden significant others in his/her life.

I can name countless students who present in our ministries like this every day.  What are we doing, teaching, and modeling that would challenge the negative views of themselves, their world, or their future?  The triad exists when there is no hope.  Are we telling a story that communicates that there is hope for our personal redemption (through Christ), reconciliation in our relationship (with the Father), and a guiding, sustaining presence when times get dark (by the Spirit)?

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Guidelines For Frontline Responders


If you have worked with youth for any period of time you have encountered a student who discloses, for the first time, that they are the victim of abuse, that they engage in some form of at-risk behaviors, are contemplating suicide, or a myriad of other statements/behaviors that require acute attention.  But often in our ministry training we are not taught how to respond to crisis as it is revealed to us.  The following are guidelines for Frontline workers; people like you and I who are faced with students in crisis.

 

Be Understanding 

  • Many of the problems kids have are complex and multidetermined and the emergence of these behaviors and their subsequent maintainance have typically been reinforced by biological, psychological, and social factors over the course of years.  We must be quick to listen.  Do not respond from a reactive place of shock, fear, or revulsion.  This will drive the student away or compile more shame on their already fragile spirit.

 

Know Your Role 

  • Most maladaptive behaviors are external symptoms of deeper problems and often these deeper problems are not issues we are trained to handle.  We MUST know our limitations.  Too often we trespass into areas that we are not equipped to handle ourselves, let alone lead someone else through.
  • Be an educator.  Though we are not experts in treating certain problems we can learn about them.  Educate students, parents, volunteers, and staff on signs and symptoms of specific problems. (i.e, long-sleeve shirts in inclimate weather is a sign that student may be hiding scars from self-injury).
  • Linking systems and coordinating care.  Connecting your student and their family to needed services such as social service agencies, food pantries, domestic violence shelters, healthcare, etc.
  • Serving as a conduit to treatment.  If the problems are severe then counseling is likely necessary.  You coordinating that connection and providing ongoing support or even being involved in the counseling as a support relationship is essential in the healing process.  This may be the most important thing you do for your student.
  • Primacy of relationship.  Your presence will say more about your love for the student than anything you do.
  • Prayer goes without saying but don’t under estimate the power of prayer.  We are told that wherever two or more are gathered in the name of Christ, He is present.  Pray!  Pray regularly.  Pray with fever and faith.  Teach your student and their family, if they don’t know how, to pray as well.

 

Sit In The Front Car

  • There’s no denying you’re getting on a rollercoaster.  You might as well strap into the front car. You will traverse high highs and low lows.  Be prepared for paradoxical behavior and irrational thinking.  Remain in the present with your student.  You will learn to do a balancing act between acceptance vs. change (accepting the student where they are at but trying to move them forward), unwavering centeredness vs. passionate flexibility (remaining calm in the middle of chaos), and nurturing vs. benevolent demanding (providing support, sensitivity, and compassion while setting and maintaining boundaries).

*We’ll explore that last paragraph in a different post at a later time.

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Personal Inventory (youth pastor life skills series pt.3)


It’s important that we stop from time to time and take a sober look at the that of our life and ministry.  Scripture says to be “sober minded” and that requires a regular honest evaluation of or current state of affairs.  The following is not an exhaustive list but will give you a good idea, if you’re honest, as to whether or not there’s strategic balance in place.  This is essential for avoiding burnout, compassion fatigue, or avoiding a train wreck.  Take a few moments to ask yourself these questions but first ask God to reveal to us our blind spots…

O God,
by your Spirit tell us what we need to hear,
and show us what we ought to do,
to obey Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

Anger

How do you feel about the way you handle anger?

How do you feel when anger is directed at you?

What strategies or behaviors help you cope with anger?

Codependence

How do you understand the concept of codependence?

With whom do you have a codependent relationship?

How do these relationships affect your ministry?

What strategies will you use to avoid codependence in the future?

Commitment

What people or things have you been committed to in the past?

What are you committed to now?

How important is the commitment of family and friends to your life and ministry?

How will you support these commitments while serving in ministry?

Depression

How do you recognize that you’re depressed?

How do you respond when you recognize you are depressed?

What strategies or behaviors help you avoid becoming depressed?

What strategies or behaviors help you get over being depressed?

Emotions

How do you cope with dangerous emotions, such as loneliness, anger, and feelings of deprivation?

What strategies and techniques help you maintain an emotional balance?

Fear

When you entered ministry, what aspects of it were you afraid of?

Have your fears about ministry changed since you entered?

What has helped you move past your fear?

Friendship

Before you entered ministry, what were your friendships based on?

Now, what qualities do you look for in a friend?

Are they based on how they can support your ministry goals? Is this good or bad?

What plans do you have for making new, supportive friends and maintaining current friendships?

Fun

How have your fun and relaxing activities changed since you’ve been in ministry?

What do you do now to have fun and relax?

With whom do you have fun?

What role does having fun play in staying balanced in your ministry?

How will you incorporate new activities and hobbies into your life?

Grief

What experience have you had with grief?

How do you cope with feelings of grief now?

To whom do you turn when you experience grief?

Happiness

Since you’ve been in ministry, when have you been the most happy?

What made you happy?

Isolation

Are free time and being alone difficult for you?

Do you have a sense of feeling isolated since entering ministry?

In what ways is your drive to connect with kids driven by a fear of loneliness?

What activities can you pursue, outside of ministry, which will help you avoid isolation?

Motivation

Has your motivation for impacting young people changed since you’ve been in ministry?

What has been your biggest challenge so far?

Do you have a support network to help you through the hard times?

As you move forward in your ministry, what are the most important aspects for you to focus on?

Overwhelmed

What contributes to you feeling overwhelmed?

How risk does feeling overwhelmed pose to your ministry?

What can you do to ensure that you do not feel overwhelmed?

These would be great questions to talk over with your staff/team/volunteers.  We don’t pay enough attention to the well being of those we depend on to make our ministries successful.  Spend some time asking others these questions and in essence you’ll be saying, “I care about you and your well being.”

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Suicide Grief: Living in the Aftermath of a Suicide


A student’s suicide can be emotionally devastating. Using and modeling healthy coping strategies — such as seeking support — will help you and others on the journey to healing and acceptance.

When a student dies, your grief may be heart-wrenching. When a student commits suicide, your reaction may be more complicated. Overwhelming emotions may leave you reeling — and you may be consumed by guilt, wondering if you could have done something to prevent this young person’s death. As you face life after a student’s suicide, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone.

Brace for powerful emotions

Suicide can trigger intense emotions. For example:

  • Shock. Disbelief and emotional numbness may set in. You may think that student’s suicide couldn’t possibly be real.
  • Anger. You may be angry with your student for abandoning their family, ministry, and friends or for leaving a legacy of grief — or angry with yourself or others for missing clues about suicidal intentions.
  • Guilt. You may replay “what if” and “if only” scenarios in your mind, blaming yourself for your student’s death.
  • Despair. You may be gripped by sadness, depression and a sense of defeat or hopelessness. You may have a physical collapse or even consider suicide yourself.

You may continue to experience intense reactions during the weeks and months after a student’s suicide — including nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal and loss of interest in usual activities — especially if you were the last person they called or you witnessed or discovered the suicide.

Adopt healthy coping strategies

The aftermath of a student’s suicide can be physically and emotionally exhausting. As you work through your grief and help others with theirs, be careful to protect your own well-being.

  • Keep in touch. Reach out to family, friends and spiritual leaders for comfort, understanding and healing. Surround yourself with people who are willing to listen when you need to talk, as well as those who will simply offer a shoulder to lean on when you’d rather be silent.
  • Grieve in your own way. Do what’s right for you, not necessarily someone else. If you find it too painful to visit your student’s gravesite or share the details of their death, wait until you’re ready.  It is not healthy to be “Superman” or “Superwoman”.
  • Be prepared for painful reminders. Anniversaries, holidays and other special occasions can be painful reminders of a student’s suicide. Don’t chide yourself for being sad or mournful. Instead, consider changing or suspending ministry meetings that are too painful to continue.
  • Don’t rush yourself. Losing someone to suicide is a tremendous blow, and healing must occur at its own pace. Don’t be hurried by anyone else’s expectations that it’s been “long enough.”
  • Expect setbacks. Some days will be better than others, even years after the suicide — and that’s OK. Healing doesn’t often happen in a straight line.
  • Consider a support group for families/friends affected by suicide. Sharing your story with others who are experiencing the same type of grief may help you find a sense of purpose or strength.

Suicide grief: Healing after a student’s suicide

Know when to seek professional help

If you experience intense or unrelenting anguish or physical problems, consider asking your doctor or mental health provider for help. Seeking professional help is especially important if you think you might be depressed or you have recurring thoughts of suicide. Keep in mind that unresolved grief can turn into complicated grief, where painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble resuming your own life.

Depending on the circumstances, you might benefit from individual or family therapy — either to get you through the worst of the crisis or to help you adjust to life after the suicide. Medication can be helpful in some cases, too.

Face the future with a sense of peace

In the aftermath of a student’s suicide, you may feel like you can’t continue in ministry or that you’ll never enjoy life again. In truth, you may always wonder why it happened — and reminders may trigger painful feelings even years later. Eventually, however, the raw intensity of your grief will fade. The tragedy of the suicide won’t dominate your days and nights. Understanding the complicated legacy of suicide and God, through the Holy Spirit, will guide us through the palpable grief will help you find peace and healing, without forgetting you’re your student.

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PTSD and the Youth Worker


Suicide, sexual abuse, drive by shootings, car accidents, date rape.  These events and many other traumatic events occur on a seemingly regular basis and can impact the surviving student(s), families, or youth workers more deeply than imagined.  If you work with kids long enough then you will experience a traumatic event and it will serve you well to understand the phenomenon of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome that is often left in the wake of a horrible event. 

The following is an overview of what PTSD might look like in your youth, their families, and those that serve them. 

Many triggers in the present environment can activate traumatic memory material and stimulate intrusions.  Triggers are cues – often harmless – that have become associated with the original trauma.  In some way, they remind us of the trauma or recall traumatic memories.  The association may be obvious or subtle.  They may trigger most of the memory or just certain fragments of it.  Often, they trigger intrusions against our will.  Recognizing triggers, and realizing that their power to elicit intrusions is understandable, are steps towards controlling its effects on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Some people find it helpful to understand triggers by their twelve categories:

  1. Visual: seeing blood or road kill reminds one of wounded bodies; black garbage bags can remind us of body bags; a secretary sees her boss standing over her and is reminded of her abusive father.
  2. Sound (auditory): a backfiring car sounds like gunshot to a veteran or inner city youth exposed to street violence; sounds during lovemaking remind one of sexual abuse.
  3. Smell (olfactory): the smell of semen or another’s body during intercourse, or the smell of cologne or aftershave reminds one of sexual assault.
  4. Taste (gustatory): eating a hamburger reminds one of an automobile accident that occurred as one drove away from a fast food restaurant.
  5. Physical or Body
  • Kinesthetic means the sensation of movement, tension, or body position.  Thus, running when tense might be reminiscent of trying to flee a beating; trying to do progressive muscle relaxation (tensing muscles, lying on one’s back with eyes closed) might trigger memories of sexual abuse.
  • Tactile or touch: pressure around wrists or waist, being gripped, held, or otherwise restrained (perhaps even a hug) reminds one of torture or rape; feeling someone on top of you; a man accidentally kicked in bed by his wife while sleeping recalls a midnight attack while in prison; being touch during sexual relations with a loved one in the same place or in the same way as occurred during abuse will likely trigger traumatic memories.
  • Pain or other internal sensations; surgical pain, nausea, headaches, or back pain might trigger memories of torture or rape.  Elevated heart rate from exercising at night might remind one of a similar sensation during a high stress encounter such as a drive by shooting.

      6.  Significant Dates or Seasons

  • Anniversary dates of the trauma
  • Seasons of the year with their accompanying stimuli (temperature, lighting, colors, sounds)
  • Other dates (e.g., a mother becomes distressed on the date of her murdered son would have graduated)

      7.  Stressful Events/Arousal: Sometimes changes in the brain due to the trauma cause it to interpret any stress signals as a recurrence of the original trauma.  At other times, seemingly unrelated events are actually triggers.  Examples include:

  • A woman visits her spouse in the hospital which triggers a flashback of grief and loss.  As a young woman she has a late term miscarriage in the same hospital.
  • An argument with a significant other triggers memories of parents arguing violently.
  • Criticism from a teacher reminds a person of being abused by his father.
  • A frightening dream with no apparent related theme activates the fear of a traumatic memory.  (Of course, a nightmare of the trauma would understandably elicit strong feelings of distress.)
  • Athletic competition reminds an athlete of a previous traumatic injury or of a being abused when she performed poorly in the past.

      8.  Strong Emotions: feeling lonely reminds one of abandonment; feeling happy reminds a woman of a rape that occurred after having dinner with her best friend; anything that makes one anxious, out of control, or generally stressed, such as PMS.  Some memories are state-dependent, meaning that the brain activates them only when the emotional state is the same as the original memory.  Thus, if one was drunk when raped, she may feel symptoms only when drinking; if raped when sober, then drinking might provide an escape from the symptoms.

      9.  Thoughts: rejection by a lover leads to the thought “I am worthless,” which triggers the same thoughts that occurred when one was abused as a child.

    10.  Behaviors: driving reminds a person of a serious accident.

     11.  Out of the Blue: Sometimes intrusions occur when you are tired, relaxing, or your defenses are down.  Often a thought or something you’re not aware of will elicit symptoms; so might the habitual act of dissociating during stressful times.

     12.  Combinations: often triggers contain several memory aspects at once.  For example:

  • Walking to the parking lot on a dark summer’s night (visual+kinesthetic+seasons) triggers a memory of a violent crime.
  • Fireworks (sound+flarelike sight) triggers combat memories.
  • Intercourse (weight+touch+sounds+relaxing+the smell of aftershave+the pressure of a hug or a squeezing sensation or the wrists) trigger memories of rape.

 

This list is by no means exhaustive but hopefully it will shed some light on the problems some of your students face.  There are some implications for our ministries too.  If we know a student has been sexually assaulted then we should be cognizant to the fact that some games we play where there is physical contact (human knot) or close proximity to others (passing a Life Saver on a toothpick) may trigger a response to that stimulus.  We can simply pull them aside and prep them ahead of time as to what the game will entail and give them an option to participate or not. 

Students who suffer from trauma need therapeutic interventions.  Often we operate outside of our expertise and we must realize that we are not trained counselor.  A referral for the student and their family is often the best thing we can do for them.  Be honest with yourself about your limitations and seek outside support if necessary.

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