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Compassion on the Decline Among College Students


The results of research done at the University of Michigan tells us that compassion among college students is declining.   Researchers analyzed data on empathy collected from almost 14,000 college students over the last 30 years.   “We found the biggest drop in empathy after the year 2000,” said Sara Konrath, a researcher at the U-M Institute for Social Research.

You can read the entire article here.

I wonder if there is any correlation between the consumer mindset so prevalent in modern churches today and the decline of the hallmark personality trait of Jesus.  The scriptures regularly address the issue of compassion or the lack thereof.

What are we doing to challenge ourselves and those we serve to grow in compassion?

What are we doing, inadvertently or intentionally, that may be contributing to the decline in empathy and compassion in out young people today?

What does this mean as we do bridge-building work among marginalized communities? (i.e., LGBTQ, Homeless, Substance Abusers, Incarcerated, etc.)

Here’s a great video to get the discussions started about compassion. 

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Bullying: Everyone Plays A Role


Most of the time when we think of bullying we only see two parties as being involved; the bully and the bullied.  Olweus theory suggests that everyone plays a role in bullying.  If this is true then to combat bullying would require a collaborative effort by all parties.  Below is a diagram of the various parties involved in bullying.

After seeing this chart I began noticing the specific roles in the youth in our community.  Bullying is a systemic problem that requires a well thought out approach if we are going to quell this dangerous behavior and it’s consequences.  Below is Olweus’s components for addressing bullying in our communities.

Our churches and ministries can and should take the lead in confronting this behavior and implementing a plan of action to address bullying.

What might it say should a church take the lead in this fight?

What does this communicate to our kids when a community fights for their safety?

How does this impact an adolescents search for identity and autonomy?

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Sobering Statistics On Eating Disorders


PREVALENCE

It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia

Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia

Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)

An estimated 10 – 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males

MORTALITY RATES

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness

A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover

The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old. 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems

ACCESS TO TREATMENT

Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment

About 80% of the girls/women who have accessed care for their eating disorders do not get the intensity of treatment they need to stay in recovery – they are often sent home weeks earlier than the recommended stay

Treatment of an eating disorder in the US ranges from $500 per day to $2,000 per day. The average cost for a month of inpatient treatment is $30,000. It is estimated that individuals with eating disorders need anywhere from 3 – 6 months of inpatient care. Health insurance companies for several reasons do not typically cover the cost of treating eating disorders

The cost of outpatient treatment, including therapy and medical monitoring, can extend to $100,000 or more

ADOLESCENTS

Anorexia is the 3rd most common chronic illness among adolescents

95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25

50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight 80% of 13-year-olds have attempted to lose weight

RACIAL AND ETHNIC MINORITIES

Rates of minorities with eating disorders are similar to those of white women

74% of American Indian girls reported dieting and purging with diet pills

Essence magazine, in 2008, reported that 53.5% of their respondents, African-American females were at risk of an eating disorder

Eating disorders are one of the most common psychological problems facing young women in Japan.

While the previous statistics are sobering there is hope.  This hope is in direct proportion to those who are willing to get involved in the messiness that comes with loving those with an ED and an increase in awareness and education of this horrible condition.  If you have suffered from, or someone you love has suffered from an ED we invite you to join the fight.  We invite you to use your voice and influence. We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope to those who have lost theirs.  You can do that in one of several ways:

1.)  Leave a comment here.

2.)  Refer your friends and loved ones to this and other websites as an ED resource.

3.)  Utilize your social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and provide links to ED websites.

4.)  Talk to your local school/park districts/churches/etc. and educate them on ED.

5.)  Share your stories of overcoming ED. (If you have a story you’d like to share to inspire others feel free to email us at cschaffner@fringeconversations.com.

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The Sun Is Shining


I found this interesting article on the USA Today website and wanted to share it with all of you…

The sun is shining. Flowers are blooming. It’s May, and many of us feel great.

But the thoughts of some vulnerable people grow dark at this seemingly bright time of year. In fact, if there is a season for suicide, springtime is it.

“It’s a new beginning, but some people don’t feel that new beginning,” says Jerry Reed, executive director of the Suicide Prevention Action Network.

Despite popular myths that suicides peak in the winter, particularly around the holidays, close observers have long noticed that suicides actually rise with the return of warmer, longer days, says Richard McCleary, a researcher at the University of California-Irvine.

Aristotle believed suicidal thoughts arose from overheated brains, McCleary says. More modern thinkers offer other biological or social explanations but still see the pattern — at least in some places and among some people.

In one study of 28 countries, McCleary and colleagues found that, overall, suicide deaths were lowest in winter and highest in spring. They reached a peak in May in the Northern Hemisphere.

But the researchers found that the peak existed only in temperate climates — places with distinct seasonal changes in weather. The link was strongest in agricultural societies and weakest in urban areas.

In a separate study of 357,393 suicide deaths in the USA from 1973 to 1985, McCleary found:

•The fewest suicides occurred in December. The most occurred in March, April and May.

•The spring peaks were mostly the results of suicides among males.

•Men older than 80 were at the most pronounced increased springtime risk.

•Boys under 16 showed a reversed pattern: They were most likely to kill themselves in the winter.

McCleary theorizes that vulnerable, isolated people with weak social ties — such as many elderly men — get left out of the spring upswing in social activity. “Maybe you visit your grandparents in winter,” he says. “But you don’t visit them in the spring and summer because you’ve got so many other things to do.”

Psychiatrist Eric Caine of the University of Rochester Medical Center says most people who attempt suicide have long-standing mental health problems that play roles. But springtime changes may be a trigger for some, he says.

For example, he says, “we know there are some people with bipolar disorder who get very energized in the spring.” Some of those still-distressed people may use their renewed vigor to plan and carry out a suicide, he says.

Still, suicide can happen in any month. “We lose 32,000 people a year, and those losses are spread throughout the year,” Reed says.

In fact, in a report in April, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said there was little month-to-month variation in nearly 9,000 suicide deaths reported in 16 (not necessarily representative) states in 2005. The numbers did, however, hint at a drop in winter and a rise in spring.

The bottom line, Reed says, is that some people are at a very low point and need the help of loved ones, friends and professionals right now — no matter what the calendar says or how pleasant the weather seems.

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Dangers and Diseases Associated with Eating Disorders


ALL Eating Disorders are Dangerous

It is important to understand that even though a person may be suffering specifically with Anorexia, Bulimia or Compulsive Overeating, it is not uncommon for them to exhibit behaviors from each of the three. It is also not uncommon for one Eating Disorder to be swapped for another (Example: a person who is suffering with Anorexia switches to Bulimia; a persons suffering with Compulsive Overeating switches to Anorexia). This is why it is important to be aware of THE DANGERS BELOW, all of which are risks no matter what Eating Disorder you suffer with.

DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP OF THINKING “I ONLY DO THIS A FEW TIMES A MONTH SO I CAN’T BE AT RISK” OR “I DON’T DO THIS ALL THE TIME, I JUST GO THROUGH HEALTHY AND NON-HEALTHY CYCLES” — THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER, NOR DOES IT MEAN YOU DO NOT SUFFER FROM AN EATING DISORDER.

For a list of eating disorder associated dangers and diseases click here.

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What I Learned @ UYWI West Coast Conference 2010


For urban youth workers who want to attract youth away from the seductive life of the streets or the violence and sexual exploitation promoted in much of commercial entertainment, their organizations must stand at the center of effectiveness of the gospel.  Contexts for learning and doing must be communally connected, highly credible and predictable, clearly and consistently structured, and strongly supportive of diverse talents.  Young people must find in these organizations opportunities to bond with each other in a united purpose and a commitment to authenticity.  They must feel secure, knowing they will not be singled out randomly for censure before the group.  Through the sense of belonging that comes from inclusion in such an organization, young people achieve layers of conviction in their ability to be worthy of the calling placed on them.

Unreliability and inconsistency build a way of life in inner cities; effective youth organizations make explicit efforts to follow through with commitments, to provide stable relations with adults, and to be consistent, predictable resources for youth.  Youth workers know, “When people pop in and out of kids’ lives, it leads to a feeling of insecurity; we are trying to give predictability.”  Kids will likely assume that God is not dependable if this is all they see in their daily relationships.  If you want to be a change agent with these kids, you’ve got to interact with them more than one hour a week, and you’ve got to address the whole person.

Stability and consistency are essential to establishing a climate of trust and to making credible claims of caring and support.  Young people are in desperate need of the things that adults can provide, but they learn from the streets and family to trust no one but themselves.  It’s then that we blame them for the way the act in response to our abandonment of them.  The most essential contribution that youth organizations can make to the lives of young people is that of a caring adult, who recognizes a young person as an individual and who serves as a mentor, coach, gentle but firm critic, and advocate.

If you work with youth, this is our calling…

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Technology & Abuse


Texting friends is fun and a great way to stay connected with your group during the day. The same goes for our dating partners – we love to get those texts that let us know the other person is thinking of us. But some dating partners take texting to a whole other level to become possessive, controlling, and constantly wanting to keep tabs on you. These behaviors are so common in teen dating relationships, but they are also abusive: 1 in 3 teens is text messaged 10, 20, 30 times an hour by a dating partner who wants to know where they are, what they’re doing, who they’re with…(2007 survey, LoveisRespect.org).

more…

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Defusing Emotional Reactivity


Reactivity originates in anxiety over self-expression and the need to be understood and taken seriously.  The more we listen, take serious, and respect young people’s opinions and feelings, the more secure and self-driven they become.  The less we listen, the more intolerant and critical we are, the more insecure and anxious they become.  The more conditioned they are to expect attack or argument, the more they learn to become defensive.  What makes them defensive more than anything else are the things adults tend to do that make them feel criticized, argued with, or ignored.

Emotional reactivity is the number one reason people don’t listen and to be good at working with adolescents means you must be a good, skillful listener.  When someone says something that triggers an emotional attack or withdrawal, understanding goes out the window.  If listening without acknowledging what the other person says turns a discussion into conversational ping-pong, overreaction can turn them into the Battle of the Bulge.  If the war metaphor seems melodramatic, take inventory of your emotions next time you’re engaged in a heated conversations that escalates to a series of attacks and counterattacks.  You’ll leave that conversations feeling wounded and bleeding in a dozen places.

Some kids are so intentionally provocative that it’s almost impossible to listen to them without getting upset.  Then you have those thin-skinned individuals who fly off the handle at the slightest sign of criticism.  Sure, they’re overreactive, but unless you view your relationship to them as expendable, your challenge is finding a way to get through to them.

Defensiveness is a paradox of the human condition: our survival and security seems to depend on self-assertion and defense, but intimacy and cooperation require that we risk being vulnerable.  All human communication – whether in business dealings or personal relationships – reflects the tension between self-expression (talking) and mutual recognition (listening).

How do we resist reacting emotionally or to emotionally charge students?

  1. Anticipate and plan for conflict
  2. Remember that feelings are facts to the person experience them
  3. Empathy kills defensiveness
  4. Listen Harder
  5. Pay attention to your impulses
  6. Concentrate
  7. Don’t blame
  8. Learn to take criticism
  9. Clarify
  10. Give time and space

When someone opens up on you with a mean mouth or listens with feigned interest, it’s natural to blame it on their personality.  When someone reacts with a sudden, verbal eruption to something you say, it’s impossible not to feel this emotional backlash as coming from them.  But reactivity, like everything else that happens in relationships, is interactional.  The only part of the equation you can change is your part.

Try analyzing for a week the amount of your communications that are (1) critical or instructional, (2) avoidant, or (3) affectionate or filled with praise.  To change the climate in most relationships you just shift from (1) or (2) to (3) and see what happens.

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Parents In Denial About Sexually Active Children


In an article from PsychCentral a new study from North Carolina State University shows that many parents think that their children aren’t interested in sex — but that everyone else’s kids are.

The article suggests that many parents have certain beliefs about adolescent sexual behavior that may be, albeit unintentionally, reinforcing certain stereotypes that shape the sexual behavior of their kids.

You can read the full article here.

We want to know more about the stereotypes you hold about teen sexual behavior.  What are the beliefs you have and how did you develop them?  We also want to know if you think they contribute to adolescent sexual behaviors?

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