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Top 10 Blog Posts of 2013


 

Top-10

So 2013 was an amazing year for our ministry.  Some of the highlights we increased speaking and writing opportunities, new partnerships and more importantly, new friends.  Below are the TOP 10 blog posts of 2013.  Thanks so much for support CotF.  We believe in the work we are called to do and hope to continue that work into the new year.

 1.   Engaging Resistant Students in Youth Ministry

 2.   The Importance if the Imago Dei in Youth Ministry

 3.   Sex: A Little Porn Never Hurt Anyone

 4.   Sex: Porn Zombies

 5.   Sex: There’s An App For That

 6.   Youth Ministry and the Glee Effect

 7.   Moral Disengagement: Bombers, School Shooters, and Bullies

 8.   Incarnational Ministry to LGBTQ Students

 9.   Credibility in Youth Ministry

 10. Trauma Stewardship in Youth Ministry

 Honorable Mention:   The Power of Permission in Youth Ministry

 I’ve also been given the honor of blogging on one of the most popular youth ministry blogs morethandodgeball.com on the topic of Soul Care.  This is a recent partnership with Group Publishing (SYMC and KidMin) and part of my new job is to coordinate their ministry to pastors/workers called The Shelter.  I’ll be blogging over there periodically and there are some other really great bloggers there so give it a look.

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Youth Ministry and the Glee Effect


Cory MonteithThis past Saturday my wife I and I were anxiously awaiting the verdict of the trail for George Zimmerman, the man accused of shooting 17 year old Trayvon Martin.  While this “trial of the century” was capturing America’s attention another story was unfolding in a Canadian hotel.  Glee superstar and main man Finn, played by Cory Monteith, was found dead in his hotel room.

We won’t know the cause of his death for several days but speculation abounds regarding substance use and suicide, a history of depression, etc.  The horrible irony is that the writers for Glee have attempted to bring light to these and other issues that youth face on a daily basis.

Update: Autopsy reports say the a combination of heroin and alcohol contributed to Cory’s death.

No one can deny the impact Glee has had on youth culture over the last several years.  At the very least it has provided a soundtrack for the lives of countless youth.  More importantly Glee has given our youth a voice in a world where very few believe anyone is listening.  I heard from countless teens who expressed a form of solidarity with the characters from the show.  It had every stereotype one could imagine and they all found common ground singing for the lovable Mr. Schuester in Glee Club.  It was here that they all found meaning and a sense of belonging.  Glee Club became their refuge from a crazy world of bullies, expectations, pressure, stress, and the myriad of difficulties of being a teenager.  They often spoke of Glee Club in transcendent language.

I came to see Glee Club, as portrayed on the show, as a desire for a safer world in which youth can navigate the journey to adulthood, ripe with mentors willing to walk alongside them regardless of the personal cost.  Glee changed the expectations young people had for their schools, homes, and relationships with each other.  I’m wondering if, with Cory’s death, it will leave many of the show’s Gleeks feeling a sense of hopelessness that nothing they had come to believe in will actually make a difference.  This could be soil for fruitful conversations about what is worth putting our hope and trust in.

I have said to my wife during more than one viewing of Glee that I felt like these kids could be the kids from our community or youth group.  Hearing about Cory’s untimely death impacted me emotionally and I wept upon receiving the news.  Finn, Cory’s character, was the arch-type male student, popular, pretty girlfriend, football quarterback, and could rock some Journey like no one else.  I’m concerned about the level of celebrity worship in our culture.  I’m concerned about its impact on our youth, who take their cues for living life from their idols, whether they’re conscious of it or not.  This misplaced investment is fruitless and leads to despair.  When a celebrity of Cory’s stature can’t escape the pull of destructive choices then what are the kids in our communities supposed to do?

Cue the church…

Glee struck a chord with young people like I’ve never seen before.  It spoke of the things that no one else would speak about and they did it creatively and honestly.  Many in the camp of Christianity wrote off Glee as obviously secular with an agenda but many failed to hear the messages of our youth that were reflected in the show’s storytelling.  Weekly, the show masterfully addressed the deepest longing of our kids and one could hear it only they would listen.

What if our youth ministries, what if our churches, what if our faith communities had the magnetic pull that Glee had for so many?  I really believe that kids vote with their presence, meaning, if our ministries even remotely smell like the shallow offerings the world has to offer they will not partake of it.  I believe in my core that youth will choose that which is most compelling.  We love to blame the youth for being apathetic regarding their spiritual growth and commitment to their faith but what if it wasn’t them?  What if it was our ministries?  What if we created deep ministries, like Glee, where students who felt they weren’t wanted anywhere could find a place to belong?  What if they were safe communities where they could let down their guard and be real and honest about the things in their lives that are important and troubling to them, issues like depression, stress, sexuality, self-injury, self-image, or their futures?  What if they felt they mattered because we loved them in spite of what they do and not just because they jump through our hoops and fit our mold of what we think they should be?  What if there were a number of adults who would commit to walking alongside them, regardless of how difficult it became?  What if our ministries were places of real hope that pointed to the Source of all hope? How is it that Glee has been kicking our butts when it comes to influencing and reaching our kids?  And I don’t buy the line, “Because it appeals to their fleshly desires” or what ever version of that sentiment might be.  I think it is because it speaks to the longings that are most important to youth and it does so in a meaningful way.

My heart is broken for Cory Monteith.  It’s broken because in spite of the Glee’s efforts to create the world described above, it still falls short.  Cory’s death is a reminder to us all that this world is broken and God’s children, apart from Him, are broken.  It reminds me that when we seek the satisfaction of those deep longings apart from Christ the world will always come up short.  I pray that our ministries are a place where the deepest longings of our hearts are fully satisfied through our ever growing relationship with Christ and His body.  It is there and only there we might experience the Kingdom on earth, as it is in heaven.

Don’t stop believing…

4

Overview of Stress (Soul Care Series)


stress-cartoonUnderstanding Stress 

Stress is our response to thinking or judging that the demand of an event or situation goes beyond our being able to cope with the situation.  Coping is the key word.  Stress is based on our automatic thoughts about inside or outside events.  Our ability to manage stress well depends on many factors, factors such as; Personality Traits, Health Habits, Coping Skills, Social Support, Material Resources, Genetics and Early Family Experiences, Demographic Variables, and Pre-existing Stressors.  We will focus on the four following underlying causes of stress in this post:

  • Expectations: You expect (worry about) something bad will happen to you because of the outside events.
  • Appraisals:  You judge that the demands of the event go beyond your abilities or resources to meet those demands.
  • Attribution: You blame the causes of your stress on the outside events or to on upsetting memories of past events.
  • Decisions:  You decide you cannot handle the demands of the outside world.

The Roots and Sources of Stress

Your inside world:  We call these “internal stressors”: the memory of past experiences/events that are negative of difficult, such as divorce, loss of a loved one, or childhood trauma.  These are now “internal” but are “triggered” by on-going life experiences.

  • The stressor event may be inside you if you cannot tie the mental, physical or emotional responses to something outside.
  • Such “internal events” could be a memory of a past trauma or losses, high need to be successful, having failed at something you deemed important.
  • Internal stressors will be based on outside events that have happened sometime in the past.

Your outside world:  There are three major outside root causes of stress.

  • Major negative events such as death of a loved one, divorce, loss of job or major illness.
  • Daily negative or difficult life events such as demands of family and work.  Theses are “external”.
  • Major and minor positive happenings such as a new job, getting married, having a baby or a salary raise.

Stages and Effects of Stress on the Body

Long periods of exposure to stress can hurt the body.  It can cause us to become physically ill.  Research has shown that we go through three steps when faced with stress:

  • Alarm:  The body steps up its inside resources to fight the stressor or cause of stress.
  • Revolt:  The body resists and fights the stressors.  Body chemicals are released to help us cope.  For awhile, these chemicals help keep the body in balance.
  • Exhaustion:  The body gets tired.  We might collapse.  We are more likely to get sick or emotionally upset.  Now, because of ongoing stress, the chemicals that once helped us now make us weaker.

Signs of Stress and Efforts to Cope

Stress can throw us out of balance.  We call this homeostasis.  The body and mind work at keeping balance through coping responses.  These are the efforts to control or cope with the stress reactions inside of you.  But they are also signs of stress.

  • Mental:  Mental worry is a major cause of stress.  Worries are thoughts and views of what might happen.  Your thoughts are the key.  When we manage stress this comes first.  If our thoughts fail to give us self-control we lose control over the body, emotions, and behaviors.
  • Physical:  Our body becomes upset.  Our hearts beat fast, we get sweaty, feel weak.  We breathe hard and lose control of our breathing.  We hunger for air or oxygen.  Being in control of breathing helps us to be in control of our stress response.
  • Emotional:  These are your efforts to cope with stress.  They are signs of stress.
    • Anxiety:  We feel uneasy, anxious.  We can’t pin down why.
    • Panic:  A sudden intense fear or anxiety with body symptoms – hard to breathe, tight chest, heart beats fast.
    • Emotional stress syndrome:  Guilty, angry, or depressed.  Managing anger, guilt, and depression helps us manage our stress.
  • Behavioral:  You may drink, go running, distract with a movie, gamble, view pornography, masturbate, smoke, talk with a friend, etc.
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Being Incarnational in the Midst of Tragedy


i-love-boston-by-wamWhat is trauma and what does it mean to survive and heal from it?  This is a poignant question on the heels of another attack on our country.  The bombings at the Boston Marathon will naturally impact those in attendance differently than those who watched the events through a screen, but we will all be impacted regardless.

 Have you ever been just sailing along smoothly in life and then BAM? Trauma strikes and nothing in your life will ever be the same again…

Maybe it’s because of a talk you had with a student, maybe it was the phone call where you found out that one of your students was killed in a car accident, or worse, they died at their own hands.  Maybe it is a natural disaster that wrecks your community like a flood or tornado.  Maybe it is a senseless school shooting like Newtown.  And in that moment, nothing makes any sense.  What do you do?  Do you run away?  Do you decide you are not cut out for this kind of work?  Do you just withdraw or run to something that will anesthetize you from the hurt?  What do you do?

Before trauma occurs you and your students operate from a belief that the world is orderly, that most people are kind, and that there is meaning to life.  You believe that God is in control of all things but prior to trauma that is a shallow belief because it has never been tested.  Post-trauma you are awakened to the awareness that you are not in control of anything and that you are vulnerable.  You begin to realize that you are no longer safe and secure.  Often, what gave you meaning before the event leave in a smoke cloud and we are left grasping at straws.  Life no longer feels fair or just.

In the PSTD Workbook (2002) Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula inform us that many factors impact how an individual reacts to a traumatic event.  Age, time preparing for the event, amount of damage done to you, (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), the amount of damage witnessed, and the degree of responsibility one feels for causing or not preventing the event (pg. 5).

The authors go on to say that there are three major types of factors that influence the development of PTSD.  They are pre-event factors, event factors, and post-event factors. 

Pre-Event Factors

  •  Previous exposure to severe adverse life events or trauma or childhood victimization, including neglect, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or witnessing abuse
  • Hx. Of clinical depression
  • Poor coping skills
  • Unstable family system
  • Early substance abuse
  • Family hx. of anti-social / current anti-social behavior
  • Poor social support
  • Multiple early losses of people, places, or things
  • Gender (women 2x as likely to develop PTSD)

Event Factors

  •  Geographic nearness to event
  • Level of exposure to event
  • The event’s meaning to the individual
  • Age: being young at the time of the event
  • Being victim of multiple traumatic events
  • Duration of trauma
  • The existence of an ongoing threat that the trauma will continue (e.g., war)
  • Participation in an atrocity, as a perpetrator or witness

Post-Event Factors

  •  The absence of good social support
  • Not being able to do something about what happened
  • Indulging in self-pity while neglecting oneself
  • Being passive rather than active – letting things happen to you (disempowered)
  • Inability to find meaning in the suffering (Viktor Frankl – Logotherapy)

The PSTD Workbook by Williams and Poiluja, New Harbor Publications, Inc. 2002

As I read through these lists I can’t help but think that our ministries could play a central role of addressing many of the present factors surrounding traumatic events. 

Spend some time this week talking with your staff or volunteers and discuss the factors on these lists and ask, “How can we be incarnational in the midst of trauma and tragedy?”   I’d love to hear your ideas on this…

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Guiding Your Students Through A Traumatic Event


As a youthworker you may be struggling with how to talk with your students about a shooting rampage. It may be difficult to talk to your students about the devastation of an F4 tornado that wipes out a small town. It is important to remember that children look to the adults in their life to make them feel safe. This is true no matter what age the children are, be they toddlers, adolescents, or even young adults.

Consider the following tips for helping your students manage their distress.

Talk with your students. Talking to your students about their worries and concerns is the first step to help them feel safe and begin to cope with the events occurring around them. What you talk about and how you say it does depend on their age, but all students need to be able to know you are there listening to them.

  • Find times when they are most likely to talk: such as when riding in the car, while dinner, with peers, or at coffee shop.
  • Start the conversation; let them know you are interested in them and how they are coping with the information they are getting.
  • Listen to their thoughts and point of view; don’t interrupt–allow them to express their ideas and understanding before you respond.
  • Express your own opinions and ideas without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it is okay to disagree.
  • Remind them you are there for them to provide safety, comfort and support. Give them a hug.

Keep your ministry settings a safe place. Youth, regardless of age, often find home to be a safe haven when the world around them becomes overwhelming. But sometimes home is the environment in which the crisis lives. During times of crisis, it is important to remember that your students may come to youth group seeking the safe feeling they denied at home. Help make it a place where your students find the solitude or comfort they need.

Watch for signs of stress, fear or anxiety. After a traumatic event, it is typical for teens (and adults) to experience a wide range of emotions, including fearfulness, shock, anger, grief and anxiety. Your student’s behaviors may change because of their response to the event. They may experience trouble sleeping, difficulty with concentrating on school work, or changes in appetite. This is normal for everyone and should begin to disappear in a few months. Encourage your students and their parents to create space where they can convert feelings into words by talking about them or journaling. Some youth may find it helpful to express their feelings through art. Make concession for artistic expression during your gatherings. Many student lack a broad emotional vocabulary to accurately reflect what’s going on inside their head.

Take “news breaks”. Your students may want to keep informed by gathering information about the event from the internet, television, or newspapers. It is important to limit the amount of time spent watching the news because constant exposure may actually heighten their anxiety and fears. Also, scheduling some breaks for yourself is important; allow yourself time to engage in activities you enjoy.

Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your students and their families. Be a model for others on how to manage traumatic events. Keep regular schedules for activities such as family meals and exercise to help restore a sense of security and normalcy.

These tips and strategies can help you guide you’re your students and their families through the current crisis. If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider talking to someone who could help. A licensed mental health professional or counselor can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function or perform basic activities of daily living.

2

The Art of Connecting with Kids on the Fringe


After a workshop I facilitated on working with kids who have been abused, an elderly woman approached me to ask me a question.  She shocked me with the simplicity and depth of the question.  Here’s what she said,

“I love the kids in my community but I don’t know how to connect with the.  I want to reach out but don’t know where to start.  How do you do it?”

I can’t really remember what I told her, probably an overly simplified answer.  I never thought about it to be honest.  I just did what felt natural when reaching out to others.  Plus, I have the added benefit of being pretty simple, if I didn’t know someone I would just introduce myself and talk to them.  It wasn’t until I talked to my wife that she opened my eyes to the idea that for some this comes easy.  For others though it is an anxiety inducing event.  Imaging, you long to reach out to this generation, a generation that is slipping through the cracks right before your very eyes, but the words escape you when needed.  You don’t know how to connect beyond a simple “Hello, how are you today?”

My wife and I talked about this for several hours over the next few days.  We explored what is involved in connecting with these kids that seemed so different from us.  Asking me how I connect with fringe kids is like asking a fish to describe water.  I spend so much time out there on the fringe that it has become normal.   I have developed, over the years, skills to navigate those waters.  But many others haven’t and don’t know where to start.  That’s what this series in aimed at doing, equipping willing adults to connect with a generation where the gap is ever increasing.  Our thoughts are not exhaustive and it is my hope that other voices will chime in with their experience, wisdom, and insight.

We will cover the following over the next several weeks:

  • Bridge Building – How to make that initial contact in a meaningful way?
  • Cultivating a spirit of learning – Curiosity is key in connecting with others.  How do we foster a spirit of curiosity?
  • Law of the Lid – We will explore our preconceived expectations of these fringe kids and how they impede our interactions with them.
  • The Culture of an Individual – Each student is a culture unto themselves.  We will discuss how to explore that culture as it relates to effectively ministering to them.
  • Doing away with my Agenda – How my agenda actually breeds a distrust that is nearly impossible to overcome.
  • What is our Purpose of our Interactions – Moving from meaningless to Meaningful interactions.
  • Checking our Personal Bias at the Door – Often our personal biases impact how well we connect with others, especially those different than us.
  • Finding Common Ground – Discovering shared experiences, dreams, fear, and failures.
  • What is being said without Words – What story are they telling with their clothes, hairstyle, and nonverbal communication.

I hope you will contribute to this discussion because at the end of the day it will close the gap between us and the adolescents that reside in the world beneath…

5

Personal Inventory (youth pastor life skills series pt.3)


It’s important that we stop from time to time and take a sober look at the that of our life and ministry.  Scripture says to be “sober minded” and that requires a regular honest evaluation of or current state of affairs.  The following is not an exhaustive list but will give you a good idea, if you’re honest, as to whether or not there’s strategic balance in place.  This is essential for avoiding burnout, compassion fatigue, or avoiding a train wreck.  Take a few moments to ask yourself these questions but first ask God to reveal to us our blind spots…

O God,
by your Spirit tell us what we need to hear,
and show us what we ought to do,
to obey Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

Anger

How do you feel about the way you handle anger?

How do you feel when anger is directed at you?

What strategies or behaviors help you cope with anger?

Codependence

How do you understand the concept of codependence?

With whom do you have a codependent relationship?

How do these relationships affect your ministry?

What strategies will you use to avoid codependence in the future?

Commitment

What people or things have you been committed to in the past?

What are you committed to now?

How important is the commitment of family and friends to your life and ministry?

How will you support these commitments while serving in ministry?

Depression

How do you recognize that you’re depressed?

How do you respond when you recognize you are depressed?

What strategies or behaviors help you avoid becoming depressed?

What strategies or behaviors help you get over being depressed?

Emotions

How do you cope with dangerous emotions, such as loneliness, anger, and feelings of deprivation?

What strategies and techniques help you maintain an emotional balance?

Fear

When you entered ministry, what aspects of it were you afraid of?

Have your fears about ministry changed since you entered?

What has helped you move past your fear?

Friendship

Before you entered ministry, what were your friendships based on?

Now, what qualities do you look for in a friend?

Are they based on how they can support your ministry goals? Is this good or bad?

What plans do you have for making new, supportive friends and maintaining current friendships?

Fun

How have your fun and relaxing activities changed since you’ve been in ministry?

What do you do now to have fun and relax?

With whom do you have fun?

What role does having fun play in staying balanced in your ministry?

How will you incorporate new activities and hobbies into your life?

Grief

What experience have you had with grief?

How do you cope with feelings of grief now?

To whom do you turn when you experience grief?

Happiness

Since you’ve been in ministry, when have you been the most happy?

What made you happy?

Isolation

Are free time and being alone difficult for you?

Do you have a sense of feeling isolated since entering ministry?

In what ways is your drive to connect with kids driven by a fear of loneliness?

What activities can you pursue, outside of ministry, which will help you avoid isolation?

Motivation

Has your motivation for impacting young people changed since you’ve been in ministry?

What has been your biggest challenge so far?

Do you have a support network to help you through the hard times?

As you move forward in your ministry, what are the most important aspects for you to focus on?

Overwhelmed

What contributes to you feeling overwhelmed?

How risk does feeling overwhelmed pose to your ministry?

What can you do to ensure that you do not feel overwhelmed?

These would be great questions to talk over with your staff/team/volunteers.  We don’t pay enough attention to the well being of those we depend on to make our ministries successful.  Spend some time asking others these questions and in essence you’ll be saying, “I care about you and your well being.”

0

PTSD and the Youth Worker


Suicide, sexual abuse, drive by shootings, car accidents, date rape.  These events and many other traumatic events occur on a seemingly regular basis and can impact the surviving student(s), families, or youth workers more deeply than imagined.  If you work with kids long enough then you will experience a traumatic event and it will serve you well to understand the phenomenon of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome that is often left in the wake of a horrible event. 

The following is an overview of what PTSD might look like in your youth, their families, and those that serve them. 

Many triggers in the present environment can activate traumatic memory material and stimulate intrusions.  Triggers are cues – often harmless – that have become associated with the original trauma.  In some way, they remind us of the trauma or recall traumatic memories.  The association may be obvious or subtle.  They may trigger most of the memory or just certain fragments of it.  Often, they trigger intrusions against our will.  Recognizing triggers, and realizing that their power to elicit intrusions is understandable, are steps towards controlling its effects on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Some people find it helpful to understand triggers by their twelve categories:

  1. Visual: seeing blood or road kill reminds one of wounded bodies; black garbage bags can remind us of body bags; a secretary sees her boss standing over her and is reminded of her abusive father.
  2. Sound (auditory): a backfiring car sounds like gunshot to a veteran or inner city youth exposed to street violence; sounds during lovemaking remind one of sexual abuse.
  3. Smell (olfactory): the smell of semen or another’s body during intercourse, or the smell of cologne or aftershave reminds one of sexual assault.
  4. Taste (gustatory): eating a hamburger reminds one of an automobile accident that occurred as one drove away from a fast food restaurant.
  5. Physical or Body
  • Kinesthetic means the sensation of movement, tension, or body position.  Thus, running when tense might be reminiscent of trying to flee a beating; trying to do progressive muscle relaxation (tensing muscles, lying on one’s back with eyes closed) might trigger memories of sexual abuse.
  • Tactile or touch: pressure around wrists or waist, being gripped, held, or otherwise restrained (perhaps even a hug) reminds one of torture or rape; feeling someone on top of you; a man accidentally kicked in bed by his wife while sleeping recalls a midnight attack while in prison; being touch during sexual relations with a loved one in the same place or in the same way as occurred during abuse will likely trigger traumatic memories.
  • Pain or other internal sensations; surgical pain, nausea, headaches, or back pain might trigger memories of torture or rape.  Elevated heart rate from exercising at night might remind one of a similar sensation during a high stress encounter such as a drive by shooting.

      6.  Significant Dates or Seasons

  • Anniversary dates of the trauma
  • Seasons of the year with their accompanying stimuli (temperature, lighting, colors, sounds)
  • Other dates (e.g., a mother becomes distressed on the date of her murdered son would have graduated)

      7.  Stressful Events/Arousal: Sometimes changes in the brain due to the trauma cause it to interpret any stress signals as a recurrence of the original trauma.  At other times, seemingly unrelated events are actually triggers.  Examples include:

  • A woman visits her spouse in the hospital which triggers a flashback of grief and loss.  As a young woman she has a late term miscarriage in the same hospital.
  • An argument with a significant other triggers memories of parents arguing violently.
  • Criticism from a teacher reminds a person of being abused by his father.
  • A frightening dream with no apparent related theme activates the fear of a traumatic memory.  (Of course, a nightmare of the trauma would understandably elicit strong feelings of distress.)
  • Athletic competition reminds an athlete of a previous traumatic injury or of a being abused when she performed poorly in the past.

      8.  Strong Emotions: feeling lonely reminds one of abandonment; feeling happy reminds a woman of a rape that occurred after having dinner with her best friend; anything that makes one anxious, out of control, or generally stressed, such as PMS.  Some memories are state-dependent, meaning that the brain activates them only when the emotional state is the same as the original memory.  Thus, if one was drunk when raped, she may feel symptoms only when drinking; if raped when sober, then drinking might provide an escape from the symptoms.

      9.  Thoughts: rejection by a lover leads to the thought “I am worthless,” which triggers the same thoughts that occurred when one was abused as a child.

    10.  Behaviors: driving reminds a person of a serious accident.

     11.  Out of the Blue: Sometimes intrusions occur when you are tired, relaxing, or your defenses are down.  Often a thought or something you’re not aware of will elicit symptoms; so might the habitual act of dissociating during stressful times.

     12.  Combinations: often triggers contain several memory aspects at once.  For example:

  • Walking to the parking lot on a dark summer’s night (visual+kinesthetic+seasons) triggers a memory of a violent crime.
  • Fireworks (sound+flarelike sight) triggers combat memories.
  • Intercourse (weight+touch+sounds+relaxing+the smell of aftershave+the pressure of a hug or a squeezing sensation or the wrists) trigger memories of rape.

 

This list is by no means exhaustive but hopefully it will shed some light on the problems some of your students face.  There are some implications for our ministries too.  If we know a student has been sexually assaulted then we should be cognizant to the fact that some games we play where there is physical contact (human knot) or close proximity to others (passing a Life Saver on a toothpick) may trigger a response to that stimulus.  We can simply pull them aside and prep them ahead of time as to what the game will entail and give them an option to participate or not. 

Students who suffer from trauma need therapeutic interventions.  Often we operate outside of our expertise and we must realize that we are not trained counselor.  A referral for the student and their family is often the best thing we can do for them.  Be honest with yourself about your limitations and seek outside support if necessary.

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2nd Annual Abbey’s Walk


In March of 2009, our community lost one of our young people, Abbey, to a drug addiction. The loss has been disheartening. Since this loss, it has become our goal to prevent other friends and families from suffering a similar loss. Abbey’s family and friends have put together a walk to raise funds to be donated to local treatment providers. The money raised is then used to develop resources to help people in our community in overcoming addiction.

This year, you may choose to walk in memory of someone, or in support of someone dealing with addiction. To participate in this year’s walk click here to register.

The walk will be held on the 3rd Saturday of September (Sept. 18th).
The walk will begin at 9:00 a.m., and will take place at the Pekin Park Lagoon.
There will be a walk fee of $15.  $20 if you would like a t-shirt.  $5 for window decals.

If your community has a campaign that addresses the issue of substance abuse I would encourage you to participate.  If you have been touched by substance abuse, please donate your time, resources, and financial support.

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