Archive for the ‘Teens’ Category

In today’s urban dating culture many express how frustrating and unsatisfied they are because dating patterns encourage young men to be aggressive and young women to be accommodating. Unfortunately, sex and violence are so intertwined for men that an easy separation is impossible.  Violence is constantly glamorized and sexualized in the urban culture.  The multibillion-dollar pornography industry [...]

Remember the old Highlights Magazine we use to read as kids?  I remember spending hours looking for the hidden objects scattered throughout the magazine.  I also remember the Goofus and Gallant comics.  They were two polar opposite characters meant to teach the children reading about right and wrong.  I used to love reading them but must admit [...]

Many well-intentioned people have entered into urban ministry because they believe God can and wants to use them in the lives of people in the city.  But all too often we answer that call with preconceived ideas about the problems people in the inner city have and their role in creating those problems.  So, we ride [...]

I ‘ve been reading a challenging new book, Virtually You – The Dangerous Power of the E-Personality, written by Elias Aboujaoude, MD from Stanford.  In this book he pulls on years of research the looks at how our online personalities (e-personalities) are shaping how we interact with the offline world.  While he recognizes the unlimited [...]

Most members of unhealthy family models oscillate between extremes of behavior choosing, mostly unconsciously, whichever behavior promises the greatest chance of surviving the moment.  You may see many of the following extremes in youth in your ministries.  It’s important to understand that these behaviors are functional and serve a purpose for these kids.  Understanding that [...]

“Most of us are aware that our expectations affect our own behavior.  If you envision yourself losing this afternoon’s tennis match, you are more likely to lose.  If you assume you will win, your chances of winning increase significantly.  We call these self-fulfilling prophesies.  What many people don’t know is that one person’s beliefs can [...]

“When we block our awareness of feelings, they continue to affect us anyway.  Research has shown repeatedly that even without conscious awareness, neural input from the internal world of the body and emotion influences our reasoning and our decision making.  Even facial expressions we’re not aware of, even changes in heart rhythm we may not notice, [...]

Adults are becoming more and more savvy about protecting kids from cyber bullying—harassment using technology, such as email, instant messaging, or social networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter. But during the upcoming spring break, when kids have more unstructured time than usual, they are also at risk of exposure to bullying through text messaging [...]

Anger and fear are closely related emotions.  For instance, they both travel through the amygdala in the brain.  They need to be closely connected in our brain because people often have to decide quickly between standing their ground or running away in the face of immediate danger.  That’s the classic fight-or-flight choice.  However, kids growing [...]

Shame is both a feeling and a belief.  The feeling is very unpleasant.  People usually talk about noticing their face getting red, wanting to run away but finding themselves virtually paralyzed, being unable to maintain eye contact with anyone, losing all their strength and becoming incredibly weak and powerless, feeling totally exposed to people’s scrutiny and criticism, and [...]